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[ATM] What They Say and What They Really Mean in Astronomy
Here's a nice little diversion for sunday morning, posted to the RASC
list. Funny but accurate :-)
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Hope this comes out right in text:
What They Say and What They Really Mean:
1) It is a difficult double star.
If you see two stars,it is probably wishful thinking.
2) This is a test for a 4" telescope.
Use a 10" and maybe you'll see it.
3) An experienced observer can detect the star's variability.
If you haven't been observing for at least ten years,
don't try it.
4) The color contrast is striking.
One star is white, the other is white.
5) The spectrum is unusual.
I can't understand it.
6) The ideal book for an amateur.
Brush up on your math.
7) The cluster has over two hundred stars.
I counted twenty-five with a 10" telescope.
8) The slightest haze will obscure it.
You probably won't see it on the clearest night.
9) The telescope's optics are superb.
They magnify atmospheric disturbances perfectly.
10) The site offers clear skies year round.
It is two hundred miles from civilization.
11) A person with average eyesight can split this pair.
Over half the world is blind.
12) If it is cloudy, other activities are planned.
Let's gobble down some pizza and swill beer.
13) Observations were terminated at 2 AM because
I got cold and sleepy, and of haze.
I ran out of Vanilla Wafers.
14) "Uh, that's neat." (Spoken by your non-astronomer
neighbor after being shown M31).
"How much did you say you paid for this thing?"
15) I think it is only the wind in the trees or a cow in
that field or something.
It will probably eat me and then march on Tokyo.
16) After moonrise, members ceased deep-sky activities
and enjoyed pleasant views of the moon.
Everybody (a) cursed,(b) seared their retinas
before packing up, and (c) went home.
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